roothakers: Find someone who will love you for who you are and won’t try to change you regardless of the things they find wrong with you. This doesn’t mean your shit doesn’t stink. If you fuck up. Apologize. Find someone who thinks you are beautiful regardless of what you wear, don’t wear, put on or don’t put on. You shouldn’t wear stupid stuff all the time though. Nobody looks good in sweatpants. Nobody. Not even Jay-Z. Find someone who makes you laugh, because aside from the pills you get after invasive surgery, laughter really is the best medicine. Find someone who knows the difference between appreciating other people and relationships and fucking everyone but you. If they do want to fuck other people, make sure they aren’t as funny as you. That’s the rule. Find someone who wants to talk to you, who wants to be around you, because without you their day just isn’t the same. If they want to be around you all the time, get away from them. Nobody can be around someone all the time and not get sick of them. Unless you look like Channing Tatum and don’t talk ever. Find someone who calls you on your bullshit and answers your calls. Being ignored is the number one cause of death in a relationship. At least for me it is. If you can’t text me back you can’t jizz on my back. True story. Find someone who can live without you, but doesn’t want to. Nobody likes a weenie, but everyone likes to feel appreciated. Sizzler gift cards are not a good way to show appreciation. Find someone who understands that you can be in love and hate someone in the course of every hour of every day. Love takes work. Love also takes credit cards. With high limits. People love when you buy them shit you can’t afford. Find someone you have something in common with. You don’t have to do everything together, but if you hate everything they stand for, your relationship probably won’t stand. If they fall down a lot they are probably a drunk. Take this into consideration as well. Find someone you imagine spending a very long time with. If it doesn’t work out, oh well. If you don’t see it going anywhere, get the sex and get out. Or just keep the sex until you find something better. It’s sex people. Find someone who pushes you to be everything you are capable of. Water that doesn’t move grows mold. So does cheese. And also it’s delicious. Find someone who isn’t afraid to tell you what they are thinking. Even if it’s not what you want to hear. Most of us are too sensitive to realize we’re human and the majority of what we do is stupid. If they think you are perfect just the way you are, they are drunk. I guess what I’m saying is, find someone that makes you happy, and that makes you feel good inside. Basically most of us are going to die alone.